mostly about being a mom

the best things in life are free...

2010-05-16T20:43:00.009-05:00

but sometimes the free things in life aren't always the best. (you saw that one coming, right?)
we're "basic cable" type people. to be honest, this is mostly because it's cheaper! but also because we don't feel the need to have 5 bagillion channels that will only serve to clutter our lives with even more unproductiveness. we do well enough with that on our own! all that being said, we now have digital cable (including on demand). why? because it was free. we've had multiple issues with our internet not working lately. i call every time and they fix the problem pretty quickly but it's still slightly inconvenient. last thursday, after spending about 15 minutes on the phone getting the issue resolved, the customer service lady offered to upgrade our cable. for free. as a courtesy. absolutely, no strings attached, free. so i said, "well, since it's free...sure." why? because we have to take advantage of the free things. life isn't always handed to us on a silver platter so we should take that platter every opportunity we get, right? and, of course, be grateful...right? (please not the sarcasm.)
well, needless to say, we've spent a lot more time with the "boob tube" (in the slang american or canadian sense of the phrase) on. i don't like it. i wish i had had the guts to say no to the marketing ploy i succumbed to. discipline is, unfortunately, not one of my strengths...i'll be the first to admit that. and so digital cable now gives me one more challenge in my attempts to celebrate discipline in my life! great. way to go me!

however, there are lots of times that i'm reminded that the best things in life really are free...in a good way. take tonight for instance. i was putting jonah, my almost 4 year old, to bed. he's had a fever since yesterday morning and has obviously not been feeling well. as we finished our bedtime story i said, "okay. it's time to say night night prayers". at this point, he usually says, "you do it". but tonight, he started right in with this: "dear jesus, thank you for this day. thank you that i had a really good day today"...something about it still being saturday because he's sick (he doesn't always make sense!)..."since i'm sick i have to go to the doctor tomorrow and i'm scared of the doctor."...long pause..."so, be with me so i won't be scared of the doctor. we love you, jesus. amen." i literally had to hold back the tears. what a simple, honest and humble prayer. sometimes i wonder if jonah is teaching me more about life than i'm teaching him. in any case, i got a free lesson tonight. and from a great teacher, too!

a broom's best friend

2010-05-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

...is not a dustpan! i hate dustpans. it's not often enough that i have the time and energy to get out the ol' broom and sweep up the massive amounts of old food hiding under the legs of our table (if you have kids, you know what i mean). but when i do get in the cleaning mood, i use my broom to make neat little piles all over the kitchen floor, fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming cinderella (and yes, "a dream is a wish your heart makes" does get a little airtime!). and then it's time to get it all in the trash can...and that's when i'm ready to call it quits! i mean, seriously? this fancy contraption that i paid $3 for barely cuts it. it's so frustrating!
well, one day i was cleaning up some broken glass at church and couldn't find a dustpan anywhere, so i improvised and used a piece of paper. that little piece of paper was a champ! it picked up everything. that's right, i said EVERYTHING.
now i don't even know where my dustpan is and i don't care. i got a nice sturdy flyer in the mail the other day. total junk. but instead of throwing it in the recycling bin, it sits on the shelf in our laundry room.

cardstock: it's the new dustpan.

simplicity

2010-05-04T22:29:00.000-05:00

the past couple of years i have been wrestling with this idea of living simply. i feel like i'm a pretty plain type of person...extravagance just isn't all that appealing to me. i've always been that way. and yet, when forced to think about my life, i've realized how extravagant i truly am. maybe it's not extravagance in the way i've always thought of it...indulgence, lavishness, ostentation...but more like excess, extra, nonessential.
i have been challenged by the life of jesus over these last few years. the everyday life of jesus: the things he did, the people he hung out with, the way he spent his time, the things he possessed, the way he loved and showed care for everyone. if i'm honest with myself (which i don't like to do too often because i realize how human i am), my life doesn't look too much like that. i do all the things "good christians" are supposed to do, but my life doesn't look like jesus' life. and looking like jesus is way more important, isn't it? jesus didn't even have a place to lay his head. who knows if he had much more than the clothes on his back. why do i have so much?
i worry a lot more than i'd like you to believe about "needing" a bigger vehicle for my family, a bigger house because of "this" and "that", more money to make all of that happen. and yet, i have a house to live in. i have a car that gets us where we need to go. i have money to make all of that happen.
this has really been on my mind the last few days because of the flooding in nashville. which then made me think about all of the other natural disasters that have taken place over the last few years. which then made me think about the people who don't even have a home to be destroyed because they have nothing. all of which leads me to this: why am i so selfish? why do i have this little creeping desire to have something better or something more? why is simplicity so difficult?
jesus lived a very simple life. notice i didn't say that jesus lived an easy life. i don't think his life was very easy at all. and i don't think he calls us to an easy life, but i do think he calls us to a life of simplicity. i think of the early church...that very first group of christ followers that we read about in acts. no one had more than they needed. and everyone had enough. and if someone had more than they needed, they gave it to someone that didn't have enough. what a simplistic life! in all honesty, i think i would worry WAY less if my life looked like that. i mean, it seems the more we have the more we worry about, right?
so even though i may not be over-the-top or outrageous, i absolutely have more than i need. this culture tells me there is nothing wrong with that, but jesus' life says something different. and so i strive to live a life of simplicity. i fail miserably most of the time but jesus just won't let me forget to keep trying.

shameless promotion

2010-05-04T21:29:00.002-05:00

tony, my husband, preached a couple of weeks ago. he always does an amazing job, but this was definitely one of his best. it's weird to say that about a sermon, but it's true. so...you should all go check out his blog and have a listen. it's worth the 15 minutes!

Living The Resurrection: Be a Dorcus

preschool...LOTS and LOTS of preschool...

2010-03-13T21:33:00.000-06:00

do you have a kid or kids in preschool? does pickup time every day bring with it an insane amount of arts and crafts papers and projects? if you're like me, it's fun to look through all of that stuff, but, unless it's something they are really proud of or it has their handprint on it, i don't want to keep it. now, i can pack-rat with the best of them but i'm working hard at suppressing that so keeping piles and piles of papers that we will probably never look at again just seems silly.
until last week, i was simply throwing it all away (or recycling it). i wished there was something better to do with it, but couldn't think of anything. but then we ran out of printer paper. and i had this great idea...why not use those papers to print coupons? (i print coupons a lot, by the way.) so now i have a stack of papers from jonah and raena that i pull out to print coupons, grocery lists, and other things that don't need to be official.
what do you do with all that stuff?

3rd time's a charm...

2010-03-12T20:31:00.000-06:00

or 4th, or 5th, or however many times i have tried to "start over" with my blogging. we'll see if it works out this time! the last year has felt like a whirlwind. with work, church, family, etc. we have been super busy. it never quite seems to slow down. i guess that's what happens when you start getting old. i've always been told that time moves a lot faster as you get older and now i'm starting to believe it. i feel like raena was just born but she's already almost 16 months old! jonah will be 4 in july. FOUR!! sometimes i feel like i don't want to blink because i might open my eyes and find that i'm 45 with 2 teenagers. anybody else feel that?
well, all that to say that i'm giving the blogging another try. and hopefully this time i'll be able to keep up in the midst of it all.

frustrations

2008-09-22T10:44:00.003-05:00

i do not pretend to be completely educated on the following subject. i admit that i could be wrong. however, that being said, i do strongly believe that my thoughts are not far off from what i've come to learn and know of Jesus.
i recently watched "sicko", the documentary on healthcare in america by michael moore. now, i'm sure some of you might be tempted to stop reading at the mention of his name. i know that he definitely has an agenda in his films, he tends to go over the top, and presents one side of the story, but i also believe that there is truth in what he says. being pregnant myself and having a 2 year old, healthcare is an important issue to me. so, as i watched how pregnant women in france get a MINIMUM of 6 months PAID maternity leave, no matter their jobs, i was slightly jealous. and after seeing how the french government issues people to come over postpartum to help you with whatever you need help with...twice a week...and yes, it's free...i was ready to pack our bags!! (i can see some people now saying..."it's not really free, you pay for it in taxes"...i'll get to that later.) so, obviously, that was very appealing to me. but what affected me even more was hearing the stories of americans who have been bitten by the healthcare system...those who were "fortunate" enough to only go bankrupt trying to fight off sickness, and those who couldn't pay at all and ended up dying because they had no treatment available to them. i didn't understand, after watching the film, how we could possibly think that national healthcare would be a bad idea. i'm not completely naive. i know that there are problems with such a system. nothing works as smoothly as we'd like to believe. however, if national healthcare has worked in countries like england and france for so many years, and worked so well that there would be a revolution in england were the prime minister to take it away, why are we afraid of trying it america?
i think the answer comes down to the fact that we are an individualistic society. it's every "man" for himself in america. it's the land of opportunity, but only if you, the individual, have the drive, determination, and often times, the right color skin and economic status, to make something of yourself. and if you've had the privilege of accomplishing your goals, you don't want anyone to take that away from you. you worked for it...you earned it...it's yours. somehow, christianity has become tangled up in this web of "the american way of life"...so much so that it's hard to distinguish between the two.
so obviously we're afraid of an idea (a SOCIALIST idea) that means we aren't the ones in charge of what we get. those of us who can "afford" to pay an outrageous amount of money every month for healthcare don't want to give up the "privileges" that lends us. we can even fall into the trap of thinking, "i have healthcare. i have options. the healthcare problem doesn't affect me." and yet it does. not because they tell us in the media that even those with healthcare don't have all they think they have. it affects us because it affects the poor among us. we are all God's children and when there are those among us who cannot afford what we can, how can we think that's not our problem? it is our problem, especially those of us who claim to be christian. we cannot separate ourselves from the hurting, the poor, the disenfranchised, the widows, the sick, the dying. if we think that we can, we are sorely mistaken. the gospel of Christ isn't an individualistic gospel. (which, i think, opens a whole other can of worms.) if there is a chance for the government that we are a part of to "give equality to all" in terms of healthcare...one of the most basic needs of life...shouldn't we take it? shouldn't we support it? sure, it might mean that we pay more taxes (and it might not). it might mean that we have to wait a little bit longer at the doctor's office (and it might not). it might mean that we don't get to choose what doctor we see or what hospital we go to (and it might not!). but isn't all of that worth it to be able to give the same options to those who have nothing? why do we think we should have "the best"? especially when others have nothing?
i'm still trying to muddle through all of the frustrations and irritations that have built up in my mind. it's a little difficult to even begin to talk about this because i have so much flying around in there. i guess you could technically call my a socialist, but what's so wrong with that? didn't the church in acts share EVERYTHING? and didn't those who refused to live that way fall down dead? was that just a cultural thing? i don't think so. i'm no bible scholar, but i don't think so. i think it was the way that they cared for one another. could we do that today? would we be willing to do that today? as a member of the body of Christ, i sure hope so.
well, i am slightly a pessimist, so i'd have to say that, honestly, i don't know that national healthcare will ever happen in america...unfortunately. there's way too much politics and money (and i would like to insert "greed" and "evil") wrapped up in the health insurance companies today. but that doesn't deter me from fighting for change. i don't think that should deter any of us from petitioning the government of the country we live in to have the most elementary thoughts about humanity. i mean, for crying out loud, public education is free! not to devalue education because i think it is extremely important, but come on...what the government is saying to us is that educating people is more important than actually keeping them alive. and yet, education in america isn't a sign of socialism for some reason. i just don't get it.
i'd love to hear your thoughts on this. i think it is an important thing we should be thinking and deliberating over. i think a lot of us know someone who has been directly affected by the healthcare system...someone who has gone bankrupt trying to pay for the debt they've accrued simply by being sick. and even if we don't personally know someone, i think we should still be shocked into rethinking by the simple hearing of such stories.
i'll end with this question...would you be willing to give up some of the things you have grown accustomed to believe are "luxuries" so that someone else could have their basic needs of life met? it's not an easy question but i think it's a necessary one.

close call

2008-09-10T08:33:00.002-05:00

so, since we moved to montgomery, i've had to get a new "baby doctor"...also known as an OBGYN. all i had to go on in my selection was the recommendation of a few friends. i ended up going with rachel's recommendation, but her doctor couldn't fit me in. it was time for my glucose test and i needed to get in right away so i took the 1 doctor in that practice who had an opening. now, keep in mind, i'm already a little nervous because it's a man. i've always had female doctors so this is an idea i'd have to get used to.
as i'm pondering all of this and waiting for my appointment, tony tells me that he talked to one of our pastors about me finding a doctor. he told her the group i was going with but couldn't remember my doctor's name. she told tony that 1 of the doctors in that group goes to our church. of course, when tony is relaying this story to me, he can't remember the name of the doctor from our church either!
so now i'm freaking out because, not only do i have to get adjusted to a male doctor, but i have to grapple with the possibility that i may also get to see him every sunday! of all the doctors, how could i have picked the one and only that attends our church? and of all the billions of churches in montgomery, why does he go to ours?! hooray! (spoken with oodles of sarcasm, in case you missed it) how awkward will this be?!? "grace and peace dr. so-and-so. good to see you this morning. i'm sorry, can you sit on the other side of the sanctuary? thanks."
well, luckily i got to talk to our pastor before my appointment and found out that the doctor i chose is NOT the doctor that goes to our church. WHEW!!! i'd rather not have to interact with him outside the office and hospital, and especially not at church!
i did get to meet the OBGYN that goes to our church. he and his wife are really cool and i look forward to getting to know them better. and it made me even happier that he's not my doctor. i mean, who wants to hang out and be good friends with their "that" doctor and his family? thanks, but no thanks!

montgomery

2008-08-15T11:20:00.003-05:00

so we moved to montgomery, AL this week. the last couple of weeks have been really busy and crazy and this weekend isn't any different. we are heading to roanoke, AL to do a youth revival at a friend's church. we're excited. it's like we're traveling evangelists...er something! i think it will be a really great weekend. and when we get back, tony starts his new job as the youth pastor at aldersgate united methodist church. we have gotten to meet quite a few of the teens and they are awesome. they have been so welcoming already, as have all the parents we've met. i already feel like we're home.

wednesday we...i say "we", but i didn't help at all!...unloaded the truck. we had great helpers and it only took about an hour. that night a bunch of the teens came over and helped us unpack boxes. they were so much help! all in all, everything is going really well and i can't wait to get back next week and get back to unpacking and setting everything up.

jonah has transitioned AMAZINGLY well. we decided to put him in a "big boy bed" when we got here. up until now, he's been in a crib. i figured it was better to get all the transitioning out of the way in one big swoop before baby raena arrives! i was surprised at how excited he was about his new bed. i was planning on waiting until we got back from roanoke to start the new bed process. so we had the pack-n-play all set up for our first night here. yeah, he wanted nothing to do with it! he slept in his big boy bed the whole night! and then the next day for his nap and then last night again. he is freaking awesome! i mean, i know i'm a little biased, but still! last night we went and bought him new bedding, which he picked out. and what did he pick? thomas the train, of course. i will leave you with a picture that, i think, sums up his excitement...

renewed

2008-08-08T21:13:00.002-05:00

so i'm going to attempt to start blogging again. i've got a little more time on my hands these days, so i figure i could put it to good use. although i'm not 100% convinced that blogging is the most productive use of time! but it's fun and maybe, just maybe, someone out there actually cares to read about what's going on in my life. so, if you are that person...this is for you.
tony and i are in the middle of packing up all our belongings and moving to montgomery, AL. i'm amazed at how quickly we've been able to accomplish this. we still have the kitchen and bathroom to put in boxes, but everything else is pretty much good to go. i'm not sure how this happened, but we have way less stuff now than we did when we moved here. i'm grateful for that. not only because there's less to pack, but also because we've been trying to simplify our lives and packing has helped me realize that we are doing better than i thought.
currently, i'm sitting here with tony (who is NOT at work...hooray!) watching the braves game. last night was his last night at the hotel where he's been working. it will be very nice to see him the 4 or 5 times i wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom!
speaking of full bladders (which i seem to have all the time these days because of this baby girl!), we decided on a name...raena simone. it's exciting to finally know what we're going to call her so she can have somewhat of an identity. i can't wait to get to see her.
so my first post back was full of randomness. hopefully they'll get better...er something like that...

faith to be strong

2008-07-18T10:08:00.002-05:00

yes, i am actually still alive. i obviously haven't written in awhile. life has been crazy lately. blogging has been on the back burner...actually, it hasn't even made it to a burner until today!
a quick update...i am pregnant and expecting a baby GIRL november 22! we are all very excited. i think jonah doesn't really like to think about it, but once she's here, he'll love it! he's already such a good big brother. he'll give her (my belly) kisses and say 'i love you'! it's very sweet. but if we ask if he wants a little sister, he says, 'no!' it's cute.
like i said before, life has been very crazy lately. well, i 'discovered' this song last week. have you ever heard a song and felt like the songwriter took the words straight from your heart? that's how i felt when i heard 'faith to be strong' by andrew peterson. it has since become the cry of my heart so i thought i'd share it with you.

Give us faith to be strong
Father, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong

1 and a 1/2

2008-01-23T22:58:00.000-06:00

i can't believe how fast time has flown by
i never knew how easily he would steal my heart
i don't think i could ever love him more...
but every new day i realize that i do!

life on the coast

2008-01-12T21:06:00.000-06:00

well, we've been in brunswick for 2 months now. we absolutely love it here! it's been so nice to not have to worry with snow and ice. granted, it was a little weird to not even need a jacket on christmas day! so, the weather is great, our apartment is wonderful (nothing spectacular to most, but paradise compared to the dump we did live in), the church has been very welcoming, and we're just loving it. i don't think i said before, but tony is the spiritual formation pastor and i am the worship arts pastor. i'm working part-time (although there's really no such thing as a pastor!) and tony is full-time. it's been so nice to finally be involved in service in the way we've been training and waiting for. i'm finding out that i have a lot to learn though! i'm sure that will always be the case. in fact, i hope that will always be the case. i hope i never stop learning. but i'm realizing how much i have to learn as a pastor. it's challenging at times, but all very good. i'm really enjoying it. it's also been exciting for me because not only am i doing things with music, but i'm doing some design and photography stuff too. i've never really done design, so it's all very new to me, but i really like it. it's a lot of fun to start tapping into other creative areas.
there are a lot of new and exciting things happening at the church. i'd be joking myself to think the road's going to be smooth sailing, though. i think it will be a long, challenging road that requires trust in God and patience. but there's something in the wind. there's something in the spirit of worship that i believe is bringing new life. and that makes any hard times i might face worth it. God's doing amazing things and i'm grateful to be apart of it. my continued prayer is that God would use me to lead the people into the throne room. because if we truly enter in, there's no way we won't come out changed.

new things

2007-10-18T20:16:00.000-05:00

tony and i have accepted the invitation to be pastors at grace community church of the nazarene in brunswick, GA. we are EXTREMELY excited about this new path in our journey. we are moving november 10! i can't believe how fast everything has happened. tony's last day at UPS is a week from tonight. he is literally so happy he could do a dance. (which he actually does...often!) you know the arby's commercial where the monkeys are lined up doing riverdance? tony said that's how he feels. HA! the funny thing is that i can see it.
i'm working right up until we move so that i can make all the money i can. i've been working more nights and i had forgotten how much i like the dinner shift. lunch is kinda boring and people are in such a hurry to get in and get out that they either ignore me or are just plain rude. not everyone, but enough to make it not so much fun for me. plus, for some reason, people don't tip as much at lunch. crazy, but true. it's not even that they spend less either. i haven't quite figured that out yet. so anyway, i'm enjoying being back on dinner shifts. more money + more relaxed people + time-flying-by-quicker = happier stephy!
we have already, almost, secured an apartment to live in. we're waiting on the application process. i'm not foreseeing any bumps there, so hopefully we'll be living right down the road from the church. we're very excited about being able to walk or ride our bikes to church. plus we'll be right across the street from my bro and sis-in-law. that will be nice. i've missed them so much this last year.
so...in the next THREE weeks, we have to pack, finish getting everything here squared away, pack, go to homecoming at TNU the first weekend in november, pack, give away a bunch of stuff we don't need, find a washer/dryer, couch, tv stand, etc, and did i say pack?
ahhhh...it's all so amazingly wonderful. really, it is! i couldn't have imagined something better working out for us. it's awesome how everything has just fallen in place. for so long we were so frustrated because we were so eager and ready to be serving in the church. but it was definitely worth the wait. i know that God is going to continue to do incredible things in brunswick and i'm so excited to be a part of that.
hopefully jonah can withstand all the traveling we're about to embark upon. YIKES! he's a good kid though. i'm sure he'll be marvelous!
speaking of that crazy kid...

yes, he does have my cheeks, but he also has a banana shoved in his mouth!

i love macbook

2007-09-26T21:00:00.000-05:00

so, we got a new mac and i absolutely love it! i will never, EVER go back to a pc. there is seriously no comparison. well, sometimes we like to have too much fun with the mac. and here are examples of that very thing!

and here are just some 'normal' ones!

pictures

2007-09-06T20:12:00.001-05:00

for some reason, i'm not able to upload pictures to my blog right now. SO...you should check out the link to the right called 'jonah's photo album'. i've put up a lot of new pictures (some taken by our friend steph from church). she's ridiculously amazing!

enjoy!

happy labor day

2007-09-06T19:43:00.000-05:00

so i had to work on labor day which was a bummer. it was just lunch, though. tony had the night off so we got to be together then. lori took jonah to the pool while i worked. tony went camping with some guys from church sunday and got back while i was at work. i hate my job...have i mentioned that? it's weird because this is the first time in 3 1/2 years that i just dread going. monday was no different.
well...in the middle of the shift, it all paid off. i had a guy at my table who spent about $14 on his lunch. he left $60 on the table with a note that said he believes in random acts of kindness. WOW! i couldn't believe it. i've had some really great tips before, but that definitely tops them all. now, it was a little strange because he also left me his myspace page...which i did not go to. but hey, i still got a $45 tip! that's 325%!
so, needless to say, that made working on monday worth it. i still hate my job and can't wait to be done, but somehow that was a little ray of hope for me.
i hope everyone else had a great day too!

the early bird gets the worm...

2007-07-31T20:51:00.001-05:00

so i am NOT a morning person. (surprise to all that know me i'm sure!) having a baby means i have to be a morning person whether i like it or not. the last few months, tony and i have been rotating the getting-up-with-jonah responsibilities. it's not really working. on mornings that i get up at 7am, i will have stayed up entirely too late the night before (we're talking 12:30 or 1am) and inevitably i'll be mrs. crabby pants for the rest of the day. and that's even if i do get a nap in at some point. on mornings that tony has a turn, he'll usually take a morning nap with jonah making it ridiculously hard for him to wake back up and thus we become MR. and MRS. crabby pants. it's a wonderful life, really!

that being said (and lived for way too long) we decided to make a change. i am now the early bird. that means that i can go to bed earlier and get more sleep, but i don't get to see tony (have dinner together, watch a little 'alias', hang out) when he gets home from work at night. it's a win/lose situation really:

more sleep at night for me

+ more sleep in the morning for tony

+ less of mr. and mrs. crabby pants

WIN

less time together by ourselves

+ less time together by ourselves

+ (you guessed it) less time together by ourselves

LOSE

just one more reason that i CANNOT WAIT to get the heck outta this place and have semi-normal jobs and schedules.

what makes it all worth it? our little 'worm'!

daddy's books

2007-07-28T15:12:00.000-05:00

excellent choice, jonah

happy birthday to jonah!

2007-07-27T20:45:00.000-05:00

i can't believe it...jonah is already 1. this year has flown by. i have mixed emotions about it. i'm so excited to watch him grow and learn and can't wait for him to start walking and telling me all kinds of things. on the other hand, i wish he were still the little fragile 3 day old we brought home from the hospital who needed me every moment of every day.

so here's to jonah...my little boogalou

7.20.06

7lbs 14oz

18.5 in

7.20.07
23lbs 2oz
30.5 in

for more pictures from jonah's birthday, click on 'jonah's photo album' to the right

independence day

2007-07-04T15:56:00.000-05:00

happy 4th to everyone. i'm currently waiting for jonah to wake up and lori to get here so we can go to the royals game. while i wait, i'm sitting here watching the rain POUR down from behind our big glass door. sad day...it's supposed to thunderstorm off and on all night. i have little hope of anything different judging from the current conditions.
dang it...fireworks and cooking out are all i have left of the 4th celebrations. growing up, we always had some sort of party for my brother, brian. it's his birthday. (happy birthday oldie olderson) so the 4th was always a family day. since i've been in kansas city, i always get a little sad on independence day because it reminds me how much i miss my family. so fireworks and cooking out are all that's left and i'm not sure if we'll get either of those today. at least tony is off work and lori is still coming over. we'll celebrate even if we're stuck in our crappy apartment all night!

a little obsession of mine

2007-06-20T13:10:00.000-05:00

i love photography. i love looking at other people's photographs and i love taking my own. those of you who know me can keep all comments to yourself. although, many of you wouldn't have half the pictures you have today if it weren't for me. i take pictures of everything. i am really wanting to do more "artsy" type stuff. i finally figured out how to use manual focus on our camera and i'm super excited about it. here are some pictures i took while we were on vacation...

return to the real world

2007-06-19T22:19:00.000-05:00

we've been on vacation the past week. it was WONDERFUL! you know when you get to the point where you just think, "if i don't get away right now, i might lose it!"? that's where i was right before we left. so it was perfect timing for a getaway. we drove up to a small town called bradley, IL. and by small, i mean only about 2 miles small. but it's tony's hometown and we wanted to visit his family. i actually liked the town. it doesn't feel like a super-small town because it's sandwiched between bourbonnais (with a university) and kankakee. so it's more like 3 smalls towns in 1. plus you can't beat being only about an hour outside of chicago. if it weren't for the winters, i wouldn't mind living there.

we went to a couple pony league baseball games and a little league softball game, went swimming a few times, went to boz hotdogs, jaenicke's (i love me some redhots!), monical's pizza, and the ice deli, went to millenium park in chicago and hung out with the stipps, played homerun derby (i'm not so good), celebrated tony's 1st father's day, held little aurora mai, and just hung out with the family. it was great! jonah had so much fun. he had lots of 1st's....swimming, getting in the grass, playing with cats and dogs, and seeing horses. he loved it all.

if you want to see more pictures, click on "jonah's photo album" on the right.

the most exciting thing for me was our mini-trip into chicago...with no baby! tony and i celebrated our anniversary by having 24 hours (or a little more) to ourselves. we drove to chicago and stayed in a hotel. the next day we rode the train to downtown. tony made an appointment for me at renee day spa on michigan ave. to get a manicure and pedicure and i didn't find out until we were on the train. he gave me a jar of cotton balls (cotton is the traditional 2nd anniversary gift) with a note inside telling me where we were going. it was so sweet! and i got 2 hours worth of pampering to start the day. sometimes i forget how girlie i can be. after that, we just walked around downtown and went over to navy pier for lunch. it was wonderful. i was a little nervous about being away from jonah that long, but i had a lot of fun. i was ready to get back and see him when the day was over, though.

i wasn't really ready to come "home". back to our yucky jobs and smoke-filled apartment, and back to the fact that we still don't know what we're doing with the next few years of our lives. but, it was fun while it lasted. can't wait to do it again.

waiting...

2007-05-25T20:50:00.001-05:00

well, it's been pretty busy the last few weeks. tony finally graduated!!! (technically he walked and got his diploma cover with nothing in it, but still.) one week of class left and he's done with classes for a l--o--n--g time. YEA!

my parents came in town for tony's graduation/mother's day/help me with jonah while tony was in MI. it was good to see them again and have jonah to get to know them better. we had fun. tony was in MI most of the time they were here for his friend's (joel h.) wedding. he got back in town just in time for lunch on mother's day. we went to a place we've been quite a few times before, but it turned out they were having a special brunch (which we didn't know until we sat down) and it was pretty pricey. we still had fun, though. tony got an ipod for graduation. he was really surprised. i was so glad! he absolutely loves it. of course, now he tries to come to bed with his ipod on, headphones in ears. that's what i get i guess! :)

we had an interview with the pastor from a church in venice, FL. we thought it went well, but he decided to bring someone else for a second interview. crap....right on the beach, 3 bedroom house and utilities completely taken care of, great church, right on the beach (oops, already said that). anyway...it didn't work out. BUT, we had a phone interview last saturday with the pastor from a church in lilburn, GA. we're still waiting to hear back on that one. it's a perfect location (although not on the beach) and i know the pastor and his wife from nashville. from what little we know, i think it would be a great place to serve. i'm trying not to get my hopes up though. in fact, after our last 2 interviews, i'm almost expecting not to be asked to come. maybe that's bad of me, but it's true. better to be surprised than disappointed i guess.

the last few weeks i've really felt "released", i guess you could say, from kansas city and everything here. work and church are the 2 things that i'll really miss, but things have been changing at both places and i just feel like it's my time to move on. i'm not going to be in a hurry though. i'm trying to be patient. i know it may be months before we find a church where we feel we need to be. i just hope it's not that long! i hate feeling like i'm in transition. i've kind of felt that way since i moved out here, but more so now. so...it's hard, but i'm trusting and i know everything will work out in the end.

and i will leave you with the cutest mohawked baby boy you'll ever see...

strange winds are a blowin'

2007-05-03T19:51:00.000-05:00

the last few weeks have been very interesting. i feel like perhaps God is opening up some new ideas to me. maybe not necessarily 'new', but more concrete. i wrote awhile back about performing at the cafe and how great it was. it's weird...it was a lot of fun but in the days that followed, thinking about performing again did not excite me. i couldn't for the life of me figure out why. it took a lot of soul-searching, praying, journaling, and talking to somewhat understand what was going on. so...get ready for my ground-shaking discoveries:
first, i realized that, although i really enjoyed the night at the cafe and singing with emily, i still don't like to perform. it's just not in me. plus getting into the whole artsy, music community is not me either!
second, i realized that the time i'd have to be away from tony and jonah in order to practice/perform/etc. wasn't worth giving up. i really like being with my family and the times that we are all together are too few already. tony's work schedule SUCKS and i never get to spend quality time with him except on saturdays and sundays. plus i really like hanging out with jonah and i miss him when we're not together. our times together, as a family, are sacred to me and giving those up to do something i'm not all that excited about doing anyway just didn't seem right.
i also realized that the only arena of music that i'd like to fit into my schedule eventually is choral music. that's not really a possibility now because who knows when we'll be leaving, but i want to seek that out wherever we go from here. i miss choir like crazy...sometimes so much so that i feel like crying. (not that that's hard to imagine or anything!) i think i like it more too because it's not me doing my own thing, but it's me being a part of something bigger and more amazing than i could ever be on my own.
i still really want to be a part of leading worship. i know it seems crazy because it's being up in front of people, but it isn't performing to me. it's something completely different. i really hope and pray that wherever we go, i'll be able to be a part of that...even if i'm not necessarily the 'leader'; although i'd really like to be the 'leader' and be able to devote more time to all aspects of leading worship. who knows. guess we'll just have to wait and see.
and finally, i think i'm ready to explore the songwriting end of things more deeply. i love to write...mostly because it's cathartic...and i've always toyed with the idea of just being a songwriter, but i've always had a small, selfish part of me that wanted to hold on to it. 'it's my music so i want to sing it, not let somebody else do it.' but i'm realizing more and more that i can't, and don't want to, hold on to it like that anymore. plus i really want to write more music for the church. there are so many crappy 'worship songs' out there....maybe not so much 'crappy' as just not very deep or theologically sound. i haven't completely fleshed it out (and who knows, i may never be able to!) but i know it's where my heart is leaning.

whew...so that's a lot. i know there's more to be discovered too, but it will just take time. it's all exciting and new, but a little strange too; definitely not what i pictured happening. funny how that works. i'm starting to get a little antsy about the future too...but that's for another day. let's just suffice it to say that we have no idea where we're going and no concrete possibilities. so, if you think of it, pray for us.
just one picture to leave you with today...my absolutely gorgeous baby boy (just like daddy!) i know, i know...

21 lbs

2007-04-25T21:14:00.000-05:00

jonah is now, as of friday, officially 9 months old. i still can't believe it! he had his dr.'s appointment today and we found out that he's 21 lbs and 29 1/2 inches. the doc said everything looked great and thankfully he didn't have to get any shots this time around. i always feel so bad for him when they stick his little legs. i always kinda wanted a chunker for a baby and i don't think that's gonna be jonah. he's a pretty lean guy. i guess that figures...look at his daddy! plus he's moving around so much now that it seems like any fat just melts away.

in other news, i found out today that brian and heather (my bro and sis-in-law) are having a girl!!! hope they don't care that i just announced it to the world. i'm so exciting! i'm gonna have a niece! this is the first girl on my side of the family so you know she is gonna be s-p-o-i-l-e-d rotten.

nothing else all that exciting to write about. we found out about a church in north carolina that needs a youth pastor and a worship pastor. we're checking into it. i think the worship pastor position would be full-time though...not sure if that would work out. tony also got a call from another church in north carolina looking for a youth pastor. we're checking that out too. it's all a little stressful to think about, but i know that God will provide. i'm just antsy to get out of kansas city. i still just don't feel like it's my home and i'm ready to be in a place that does feel like home. hopefully a place closer to the southeast and friends and family.

i'll leave you with a few adorable pictures of jonah, who is now 3 times the size he was when he was born!

i hate performing

2007-04-06T19:11:00.000-05:00

so, last night emily and i played at the roasterie...a nice coffee shop here in kansas city. it was SO much fun! if i can toot my own horn a little...we did great! i felt like we were both so at ease that it was as if we were just singing in my living room. the last couple of weeks i really wanted to back out. we've had so much going on in our lives...from starting to interview at churches, tony working doubles, and jonah being a lot more of a handful...that i just felt a little overwhelmed. plus, i was just so dang nervous! in college, i used to get nervous EVERY single time before a concert or recital. the last year or so, it's gotten a lot better. not that i perform a lot, but leading music on sundays does the same thing to me. it took a good 6 months before i didn't feel like my stomach was going to explode every sunday morning! luckily yesterday i had to work so that took my mind off of the whole thing for a few hours. but, around 3:45 the fun began...yup, the normal nerves kicked in.
when we got up to sing, though, i was totally fine. i felt so relaxed and at home up there. i'm sure a lot of it was the venue. the people were all so welcoming (and mostly friends) and the atmosphere was very laid back. it helped to have emily standing beside me too. when i did a few songs on my own i felt a little nervous but still nothing like how i used to feel all throughout a concert.
so i guess what i'm saying is that i always thought i hated performing. i hate being the center of attention. i hate being up in front of people. i hate having everyone staring at me. i hate talking in front of more than 10 people. i hate feeling like my stomach might just crawl up and die for hours beforehand. but last night i LOVED it! it just felt so natural. i loved sharing music with the crowd. and i even talked and didn't really mind. (yes, it was super cheesy, but talking none-the-less!)
i am so pumped about singing again. we're going to try and get another 'gig' lined up at the roasterie. (gig sounds so silly to say...like i'm a rock star or something). and hopefully we can play at other places around town. i'm only sad that we didn't do this earlier. who knows where we (the jecks) will be in the next few months.
but...while i'm here, i'm gonna sing my little heart out.

and so it begins...

2007-04-03T21:29:00.000-05:00

jonah starting crawling on sunday! i can't believe it. he woke up from his nap and i put him on the floor in the living room and off he went! he's already bonked his head, torn down some beads, and gotten really upset because we wouldn't let him play with the tv. amazing how our lives have changed simply because jonah can move.
my friend, josh, said this is what his dad always says about crawling. and because i suck at telling things exactly right, i'll just paraphrase. "crawling is just the beginning. now they'll spend the rest of their lives moving away from you." kinda sad, but seems pretty accurate. i mean, if time keeps going by as fast as it has been the last 8 and 1/2 months, jonah will be leaving for college tomorrow!
so i'm so excited that my little baby is learning and growing and figuring things out, but i'd be okay if he just stayed small forever. i guess he'll always be my little boy...even if he is 6'3" and married with a baby. please don't let that day come too soon!

turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes

2007-03-29T21:32:00.000-05:00

so i'm new to the whole "blogger" world. i've had xanga for some time now, so it's not like i have no clue what is going on. but, for those who care, this will mostly just be about the jeck family life...ok, mostly mine, but tony and jonah won't be totally excluded. tony thinks blogging is pretty ridiculous. so i'm sure he's thrilled that i'm starting a new one! ha! i guess it's the whole writing-out-all-your-thoughts-and-dreams-for-the-whole-world-to-see part that really gets him. plus i think it can be a place for people to "puff themselves up". but, hopefully i won't be any poofier when i'm done. :) let me know if i start tooting my own horn. man...i'm starting to sound like lori with all my cute little sayings. however, i think, unlike her, i got most of them right.

on to the good stuff. tony and i interviewed at a church last weekend. it went really well. we like the people and the little town a lot. just waiting now. waiting to see if we get a huge epiphany or something like that. i knew this would be a weird, difficult thing but i never realized just how right that was until now. i know God doesn't necessarily have this set place God wants us to be, but i still think God cares about where we end up. so, we're praying and waiting and waiting and praying.

jonah is growing like a weed (props again to lori). he is only days away from crawling. he can get where he wants to go now just by rolling/scooting/belly flopping, etc. time to start "baby-proofing". but seriously, babies have gotten along just fine for centuries without all the corner protectors, spring latch cabinets, and fences. what they tell you to do in the books is a little much if you ask me. now don't worry, we are taking precautions. you won't read about jonah being electrocuted or anything. we had to move his mattress down the other day because he can pull up on the side now. it's just so hard to believe he's already 8 months old. i want him to crawl, but i don't...i just want him to stay my little baby forever.

getting ready to go

wearing (and trying to eat) daddy's hat

having fun in salem, il

"ra ra ra"

we (and by "we" i mean "i") take tons of pictures...i heard that syndi...so i'll be posting them often for your viewing enjoyment and mostly just to show off the cutest, sweetest little boy ever! hey, that's not puffing me up, just jonah! i'm allowed to do that, right?